An Update with pictures!

We got an update today!! The twins are still tiny but we plan on fixing that when they get home. Avery is only 14.7 lbs and Isabelle is 15.2 lbs. I guess this is to be expected when they are only able to feed them 3 bottles a day in the orphanage. It just breaks my heart to know that all these babies are not able to get the nourishment that they need and deserve. Atleast I know that these two babes will soon have everything they need and more. I'm so ready! Especially after seeing these new pictures. Every picture we get they just get more and more real to me and I get more and more anxious to go get them. Yesterday I sent a care package for each of them to a family that will be traveling on Tues. to pick up their twins. In the package I sent them a photo book with pics of Me, Matt and the dogs, plus blankets that Matt and I slept with for a couple of weeks. Hopefully this will help them recognize us when we go and pick them up. Needing lots of hopes and prayers that we get the Aug. 9th embassy date. We will even take the July 26th embassy date if need be. Even though the July date would mean spending about $1000.00 more on airfare we will do it for OUR two precious babies. Mommy and Daddy love you and can't wait to finally hold you in our arms.

So Angry!

In January my friend Debbie made me aware of the fact that our 171H (permission to bring an orphan into the U.S.A.) was wrong. The reason being is that on our home study it said that we were wanting to adopt children 0-6 months at referral, well then DCFS approved us for 0-6 months at referral, which in turn made USCIS approve us on our 171H to be able to bring children 0-6 months in to the U.S. Which means that our children could not be older than 6 months when we brought them home. Well anyone who has adopted, our social worker has, knows that in International Adoption most children come home older than 6 months. When this came to our attention our dossier was already in Ethiopia so I called our placement agency director and he told me to get it fixed ASAP but that it would not affect our paperwork in country, we just needed to have it fixed before we had our embassy appt. Easy peasy since our dossier had only been in country for a couple of weeks and we were expecting to wait 4-6 months just for our referral. So I called our social worker and asked him if he could get our home study changed to say we were approved for children up to 14 months old and he said he would do that no problem. Well a month goes by and I haven't heard anything from our S.W. and when I called to see how things were going with the change he had no idea what I was even talking about. Oh great! So I explained it again and he said he would take care of it. A month later we get our referral and I call him to let him know. I then find out that he still had not changed anything in our h.s. He said that it was no big deal and that with us now having a referral it would be a lot easier to get done. See in Illinois DCFS has to approve not only your h.s. but also your referral. So he was going to send our updated h.s. along with our referral to DCFS and we should be good to go. Matt called our S.W. in April asking if everything had been sent off to DCFS and he acted like he wasn't sure what he was talking about but he would look into it. When he got back to Matt he told him that DCFS had not seen our paperwork yet and that they were really backed up, but don't get worried we still had plenty of time to get it fixed. Then about a month ago our S.W. called saying that DCFS had lost our paperwork and that he, our S.W., could no longer bring up our referral information that I had sent him. SERIOUSLY!! Then on Tuesday I get an email from him that I wasn't sure about so I called him only to find out that DCFS needed an update of our CANTS report, basically saying we are not child abusers, and that they couldn't do anything until they got that. So that was two weeks right there that we thought DCFS was processing our paperwork and come to find out they weren't, but he never even told us. Did I mention that we HAVE to have this paperwork fixed before we go and pick our children up hopefully the second week of August. I know that every thing will work out it is just very frustrating to think that we paid good money to have this stuff done correctly and it wasn't. I guess if we decide to this again we will know better.

Our referral story

CONGRATULATIONS IT’S TWINS!!

March 23, 2010

At 2:37p yesterday I saw that I had missed a call from our agency and the message just said to call back. So I called expecting to learn that we needed some paperwork changed or something. Here is how that conversation went:

Me: (as the phone is ringing I’m checking my email. You know just in case. Nothing is there from AA.) Hi this is Jennifer Barbee and I had a message to call.
Radu: How are you today?
Me: Good. How are you?
Radu: Fine thank you. Can I ask you a question?
Me: Yes.
Radu: Can you keep a secret?
Me: Yes.
Radu: Seriously, do you promise you can keep a secret?
Me: Yes.
Radu: Okay then look at your email.
Me: I don’t see anything. What email address did you send it to?
Some searching on his part and me closing my email and then seeing I had one new message.
Me: Oh I see it. Oh my gosh your kidding right? (the reason for this reaction is because I was looking at an email with the subject line: referral. This is where the sobbing began.)
Radu: this is a special case in which there were twins a boy and a girl available and you and your husband were the only ones who requested this. This doesn’t usually happen so fast and there are other families who have and are waiting longer so you need to make sure not to announce this on the Internet as to not upset anyone.
Me: (a very shaky )Okay thank you.
Radu: You are welcome.

And then the phone conversation was over.

I was able to call Matt and tell him he needed to come to the office. At first he thought something was wrong with my boss because he could tell that I was upset but then I told him we got our referral and he understood my shaky voice. After hanging up with Matt I shakily called my mom to let her know that she was a grandma, unofficially of course. Then I called our home study agency to let our social worker know. Then Matt finally showed up and we sat down to see our baby’s faces for the first time together. Let me just tell you they are the most precious faces I have ever seen. I’m sure it has nothing to do with me being a bit biased or anything either. You’ll understand once I am able to post their pics. Last night was a whirlwind of tears, phone calls, oohs and aahs.

All I can say at this moment it that they are 8 months old and perfect.

Next we wait for our court date. We will not be allowed to travel in May or June due to the elections so we will hopefully travel some time after July but before December. If all goes well that is. As for Matt and I we are going to be kicking it up a notch and getting those honey-do-projects going.

Thank you to all of you that prayed for us. Now I am asking that you please pray for our babies and their family who I am sure misses them. It is really a double edged sword when you receive your referral because you are excited for the chance to be parents to these perfect little beings but at the same time you know that someone out there is missing there babes. Hopefully they will find peace in knowing that their babies are being taken care of and are loved.

Going to go back to Private

Okay so when we received our referral I put the blog on private so I could talk about it. Once we passed court I decided to go back to being public, but after much consideration I feel that the best thing for our family is to go back to private. I'm pretty sure that this blog is not that popular with people that I don't know so I don't think I am going to be cutting anyone out of reading it. I only started this blog to record the journey to our children and to let family and friends know what was going on in our adoption without having to call each and every one of them every time something substational happened. So starting Monday I am going to go back to being a private blog. If you would like an invite you can either leave a comment or if we are facebook friends leave me a message there. If you were on the private list before do not worry you will be on there again. Thanks for the understanding.

Just some words (long)

Eight years after endometriosis caused me to have to have a hysterectomy I have become a mother. I only mention the hysterectomy due to the fact that some women out there may be feeling that the only way to become a mother is to give birth to a child. Well I am here to say that that just isn't true. Just look at the pictures of these precious children, MY precious children. God has blessed us twice and I do believe that they are why I cannot conceive a child. Now I am not going to say that I didn’t have my doubts because believe me I had many, many doubts that I would ever become a mother, but I never gave up hope that someday I would be a mom.
When I first heard that I would have to have a hysterectomy I tried to stay positive, I mean what could I do? I was in so much pain that all I cared about was that after the surgery that pain would be gone. I was single and wasn’t even thinking about motherhood or what this surgery meant for my future. I had always wanted to adopt; the thought of pushing a watermelon through a hole the size of a pea did not appeal to me at all! LOL! So when the surgery was over and I found out that they were able to save my ovaries I only thought about the fact that I wouldn’t be going through early menopause. Later I thought about being able to use a surrogate. In fact when Matt and I discussed starting a family this is what he would think of while my thoughts turned to adoption. Matt and I started seriously talking about starting our family in April of 2008, just a few short months after buying our home. I started researching adoption and surrogacy. I only did the surrogate research to appease Matt, I knew with utmost certainty that I wanted to adopt, but since we both had a hand in the decision I looked at all of our options. After researching we realized that surrogacy is very expensive and you are not at all guaranteed to have a child at the end of the journey, whereas adoption there is a guarantee. So then my research turned to what type of adoption would best fit us; International or Domestic. I did a lot of research on all the countries we could adopt from and I also got a lot of information regarding domestic adoption. Then on November 16, 2008, on our way to a domestic adoption seminar in Glen Ellyn, IL Matt announced to me that he was ready to start the adoption process and he wanted to adopt from Ethiopia!! YAY! See after many months of researching domestic and international adoption I had my heart set on adopting from Ethiopia. I’ll admit it was the last country I had researched due to the fact that the children would be black and Matt and I are both blond with fair skin. I wondered; How would our family react? or How would the public react? Soon I realized that I didn’t care, this was where are children were, I could feel it my bones, but most importantly I felt it in my heart. I knew God had placed this feeling in me and soon he placed it in Matt’s heart too. So since we no longer needed to go to a domestic adoption seminar, we turned around and headed home to tell our parents and Matt’s sister that we were going to be parents to a child from Ethiopia!! (Not until we started the adoption process did we decide to adopt two at once.) By the way are families were and still are thrilled for us. They could really care less about the race of our children; their only concern is our happiness.
We officially started the process in March of 2009 and now 1 year, 2 months, 3 weeks and 6 days later we are officially parents to 11 month old twins.
So you see just because you can’t give birth to children doesn’t mean you can’t be a parent. Parenting is so much more than giving birth. No it’s not the “normal” way to have children but what is “normal” anyways. These babies are my babies whether I gave birth to them or not they are my children in every other way possible!!! Forever! I hope that this gives other women and men hope and understanding that their children are out there somewhere. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder.
We would like to thank all of you that have supported us thus far on our journey to our children. We know we couldn’t have done any of this without the support of our family and friends. We are forever grateful for each and every one of you. The best is still yet to come. We hope to be bringing our children home in August.
Love,
Matt, Jennifer, Avery and Isabelle Barbee

Introducing....

Avery David Hayder and Isabelle Jane Heyriya Barbee

While we were sleeping last night the courts in Ethiopia granted us the privelage to be the parents to these two precious souls. They were born on June 29, 2009 in Shewarobit. We have been doubly blessed and couldn't be any happier. We hope to be traveling to pick them up to bring them home forever in August. For now we wait, yet again. But soon so soon we will have them in our arms and all this waiting will be behind us and we can begin our life as a family of four (six if you count Capone and Rocco).

Pictures

This is my friend Debbie's little girl Naomi. Isn't she precious! Naomi is 2 weeks older than the twins and came home from Ethiopia a couple of days after we received our referral. I see a great friendship in the near future for the twins and Naomi. Naomi also has a big sister, Liliana, who came home a couple of years ago from Guatamala. Lili was with her Daddy while Naomi and Deb were at the baby shower so unfortunately I did not get a picture taken with her. But believe me she is an absolute doll.

One month from today the twins will turn "1". I so wish we could be with them on that day, but it is good to know that we will never miss another birthday with them. We will definately be doing a no presants birthday party once they get home. I want them to atleast get to dig in to their first birthday cake. I also want pictures of this event.

Have a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend. Thank you to all of those that have fought for our freedom!

COURT DATE!!!!

We got our court date today: June 8th. And what is even better is we don't have to travel for it. Now in some ways I am a bit disappointed to hear this due to the fact that I am ready to meet my babies, but for our pocketbook it is a good thing. I'm just glad to know that we are one more step closer to being "legal" parents to these two precious babes, of course in our hearts we already are their parents, but for the sake of red tape we must do things their (read: government's)way. So hopefully in three and half weeks we will posting photos on the blog and packing to go and pick them up. Please pray that all goes well with the court hearing and also if you could please pray for their tummy mommy, I can't even imagine what she has and is going thru.

Baby Shower

This past Saturday (May 8th) my mom, mother-in-law and sister-in-law threw me a baby shower. We had it at Jupiter's II and it was so very nice. Almost everyone that was invited came so there were around 35 people there. We rec'd a lot of nice baby gear along with money and gift cards that I have already used up buying the things that we need but did not receive. The only things that I haven't gotten yet are more clothes (we need some in larger sizes), diapers (for travel), and formula. So all in all we are ready for our babies. Let me say that again, WE ARE READY FOR OUR BABIES!!!!! I am so sick of waiting for our court date it is not even funny. The way things are looking we might be able to travel in June though, so that would be good. I would rather not wait that long but unfortunately it is not in my control, if it was the twins would already be home. I did not get any pictures of the baby shower, which I might say really ticks me off. I had my camera laid out and in the craziness of setting everything up it got buried and I totally forgot to make sure it was with me. I think some people got some pictures but I'm not sure. I will get pictures of the quilts my grandmother made the babies though. They are so gor.ge.ous. She is so talented! The nursery is coming together quite nicely. There cribs are ready for them. We got their crib skirts yesterday so last night I put on the skirts and their bumpers. Their cribs look so cute, they will look even cuter once Avery and Isabelle are them though.

So obviously we are still waiting on our court date. Noone else has rec'd a court date lately either, so I know it isn't just us. Our agency said that our paperwork is in the courts and we should get our court date before the elections, but we will see. I promise that I will let you all know when we hear anything.

Names

Well Matt and I have finally agreed upon the names for our children. His name will be Avery David Ethiopian nameand her name will be Isabelle Jane Ethiopian name. It has been a long and trying road for us to agree on the names. I'm guessing these two children will be our last simply due to the fact that we would never be able to agree on names for any more.LOL!! Well not much more to post at this point, when we have to tell I will definately post it. Til then.